The Funk
One of the reasons why I chose today to finally start this blog is because of a weird mental funk that I've been in for the better part of the day.
As a person, I've always been a stickler for schedules. Everything has GOT to be on schedule. Even with the arrival of Miss Chandler and the knowledge that my obsession with schedules would pretty much go out the window, I still have this need to stick with a schedule.
Imagine how difficult it is when a certain 7.5 month old decides to kick sand in my schedule's face.
I think that's the root of my issue; the loss of control. Saturdays and Sundays are what I like to refer to as Epic Shift. My wife leaves for work at 3AM Saturday mornings, comes home around 2PM, sleeps until 6PM, then leaves for an overnight shift at 9PM. She doesn't come home until around 8AM Sunday morning. She's a rockstar.
Epic Shift, even though I've been doing it for months now, freaks me out. Why? Because being alone with Chandler gives rise to one important tidbit that sticks in the back of my mind like glue: she will destroy my schedule, and I will have no backup.
OCD much?
- Wake time Saturday morning? Could be anytime between 3am and 6am...whatever floats her boat.
- Breakfast? Only if she feels like it.
- Take the dogs out to pee and poop? Not if Chan's vocal chords have anything to say about it.
- Morning nap? *Snort*......please
- Afternoon nap? Yes, that can happen on occasion, but 9 times out of 10, Dad's going to have to take Chan on a walk in the 100 degree heat in order for this to happen.
- Playtime? yeah, Dad kinda likes this part.....
- Dinner? Yeah, ok.
- Bathtime? This part is fun.
- Bedtime? Thankfully, the rockstar wife will relieve me for a bit and handle bedtime on Sat. nights. She knows I'm back on the clock after 9pm.
And then there's the overnight portion. I know there are a lot of parents out there that do this alone. You guys get the biggest thumbs up from me, you really do. I don't know if other parents are the same way when they do a solo overnighter with their infants, but I get no sleep Saturday nights. It's a constant, nagging fear that Chandler will wake up crying.
I have to often ask myself: What's wrong with that? Why is that such a bad thing? It's not like she's doing it on purpose or anything. She's a baby; chances are she just needs a feeding or a diaper change. Why get bent out of shape about it?
Of course, this is all easier said than done. The rational part of me accepts this as part of being a new parent. The exhausted, ridiculous part of me goes "crap" when I hear her over the monitor. The heart rate picks up, the cold sweat starts.
It never occurred to me that she might be more uncomfortable than I am at the moment.
When Sunday morning rolls around, I usually feel super guilty. Chances are, at some point during the night, I have lost my patience at least once. Now that Chan is mobile and standing on her own, it's even harder to get her back down after she wakes. It's certainly a challenge.
But then, usually around 5:30-6am on Sunday morning, I'll hear some soft cooing and babbling over the monitor. I'll give it 10 minutes or so, then enter her room and be greeted with the biggest, gummy grin in the world.
The little hellcat is instantly forgiven. We do our morning routine, and then around 7AM, I take her to do the thing I look forward to every single week; I take her to Safeway to buy groceries for the day. I love those trips to the store; it's just Dad and Chandler. She's usually in a great mood, I'm in a great mood, and since it's my cheat day, I buy ALL SORTS OF JUNK.
8AM rolls around, and Mom comes through the door. And all is well for the next few days, give or take a few fights between Laura and myself.
You know, it feels pretty good to get that off my chest.
As a person, I've always been a stickler for schedules. Everything has GOT to be on schedule. Even with the arrival of Miss Chandler and the knowledge that my obsession with schedules would pretty much go out the window, I still have this need to stick with a schedule.
Imagine how difficult it is when a certain 7.5 month old decides to kick sand in my schedule's face.
I think that's the root of my issue; the loss of control. Saturdays and Sundays are what I like to refer to as Epic Shift. My wife leaves for work at 3AM Saturday mornings, comes home around 2PM, sleeps until 6PM, then leaves for an overnight shift at 9PM. She doesn't come home until around 8AM Sunday morning. She's a rockstar.
Epic Shift, even though I've been doing it for months now, freaks me out. Why? Because being alone with Chandler gives rise to one important tidbit that sticks in the back of my mind like glue: she will destroy my schedule, and I will have no backup.
OCD much?
- Wake time Saturday morning? Could be anytime between 3am and 6am...whatever floats her boat.
- Breakfast? Only if she feels like it.
- Take the dogs out to pee and poop? Not if Chan's vocal chords have anything to say about it.
- Morning nap? *Snort*......please
- Afternoon nap? Yes, that can happen on occasion, but 9 times out of 10, Dad's going to have to take Chan on a walk in the 100 degree heat in order for this to happen.
- Playtime? yeah, Dad kinda likes this part.....
- Dinner? Yeah, ok.
- Bathtime? This part is fun.
- Bedtime? Thankfully, the rockstar wife will relieve me for a bit and handle bedtime on Sat. nights. She knows I'm back on the clock after 9pm.
And then there's the overnight portion. I know there are a lot of parents out there that do this alone. You guys get the biggest thumbs up from me, you really do. I don't know if other parents are the same way when they do a solo overnighter with their infants, but I get no sleep Saturday nights. It's a constant, nagging fear that Chandler will wake up crying.
I have to often ask myself: What's wrong with that? Why is that such a bad thing? It's not like she's doing it on purpose or anything. She's a baby; chances are she just needs a feeding or a diaper change. Why get bent out of shape about it?
Of course, this is all easier said than done. The rational part of me accepts this as part of being a new parent. The exhausted, ridiculous part of me goes "crap" when I hear her over the monitor. The heart rate picks up, the cold sweat starts.
It never occurred to me that she might be more uncomfortable than I am at the moment.
When Sunday morning rolls around, I usually feel super guilty. Chances are, at some point during the night, I have lost my patience at least once. Now that Chan is mobile and standing on her own, it's even harder to get her back down after she wakes. It's certainly a challenge.
But then, usually around 5:30-6am on Sunday morning, I'll hear some soft cooing and babbling over the monitor. I'll give it 10 minutes or so, then enter her room and be greeted with the biggest, gummy grin in the world.
The little hellcat is instantly forgiven. We do our morning routine, and then around 7AM, I take her to do the thing I look forward to every single week; I take her to Safeway to buy groceries for the day. I love those trips to the store; it's just Dad and Chandler. She's usually in a great mood, I'm in a great mood, and since it's my cheat day, I buy ALL SORTS OF JUNK.
8AM rolls around, and Mom comes through the door. And all is well for the next few days, give or take a few fights between Laura and myself.
You know, it feels pretty good to get that off my chest.
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